Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
