11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she peed on how many people?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
