it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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