Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
