Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
