if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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