I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
