she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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