bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
