i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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