Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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