did you get engaged???
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
