im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
