Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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