In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
