If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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