My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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