My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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