O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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