In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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