do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
