Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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