haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
