Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
In other news, I just burned my penis
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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