oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
