im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Found your dick twin last night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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