Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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