Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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