Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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