So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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