Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
