Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
