I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
