Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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