i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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