i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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