so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
