seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
