You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
