I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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