me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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