Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
