i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
