Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
