haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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