You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
