so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
