sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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