not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
