She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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