so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
