have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
