Say something about gay babies.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
