you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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